The story of
success story :
the outcome of Community Service Program| SEHER
picture of Ramesh
Ramesh, forty years old stays in our working areas in a low income community. He was identified through a corner meeting. He studied till seventh standard in a Municipal school. His father, under the influence of alcohol, and in filmy style, promised his childhood friend that he would get Ramesh to marry his daughter.
This girl was seven years older than Ramesh. Ramesh was against this. He did not want to get married at an young age; nor marry someone who was years older than him. His father didn’t listen to him and pressurized him to go ahead. Eventually, he got married to this girl. In the beginning years, all went well.
Later on, they started having problems in their marriage. Both of them used to fight a lot, they had arguments over small issues, and heated discussions on almost everything, everyday!
The woman left him. Since then, he started living alone. He withdrew into a shell. This was not what he had wanted, after being compelled to marry her, that she desert him. It was frustrating and self defeating. The more he thought about this, the more he came to hate women. He stopped talking to people. He started giggling and murmuring when alone- often murmuring in an argumentative manner, he got irritated easily and started having anger outbursts
By then, Ramesh was also a father of two sons and one daughter. His children stayed along with their mother. She took them with her when she left. Ramesh’s wife didn’t allow him to meet his children.
His condition started getting worse by the day. He couldn’t work further due to his illness. He had had a well paying job at the Pune municipal corporation. He didn’t have any friends, everyone dropped out of his life one after another. He used to sit alone by himself. He used to avoid looking at women, or talking to them including his own sister in law, and other relatives.
When the team of (female) fieldworkers visited him, he refused to make any eye contact with them, infact, he had his back turned towards them when they spoke. In the beginning, befriending was started with him. A male field worker was introduced and he started engaging with him, after a series of failed attempts by the women's team. Our field worker took Ramesh outside, they started roaming together in the community, he told him stories and they played games together. Medicines were also going on for his problem. He taught Ramesh few self care practices based on his interests. Ramesh was very fond of children. He roped in kids from his neighborhood and they started playing together.
He still did not speak to the women fieldworkers. This team worked with his family. They got in touch with his son and roped him in. They sensitized the son regarding Ramesh’s disability and called out to his sense of responsibility and care for his father. They gave him the context of his separation with his wife and the taking away of the kids.
This moved his son deeply. He could not face his father and felt guilty of having misunderstood him all these years. He could not muster the courage to care for him, but started dropping in once in a way to look out for his needs.
This was story 14. It is a true story.
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